A Whole Year Without You

2011-09-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

I’m trying my best to get through today as if it were any ordinary day.

It’s September 21st. That means two things.

First, it’s my dad’s birthday.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Unfortunately, this day will forever be masked. This is also the day I lost my best friend.

One year ago today.

Now some people just don’t understand what all the hubbubb is about. He was a dog. Just a dog.

Anyone who knows me, however, or the family that I come from, knows that he was more than just a dog.

So. Much. More.

Jinx was a gift to me from my then-boyfriend-now-husband. I had expressed interest in owning a Miniature Pinscher. Less than two weeks later, Chris drove me to Benson, NC to pick out my new little baby.

There were two puppies to pick from. One was a beefy, muscular, broad pup with a nonchalant, almost-arrogant way about him. He was cute.

The other was a scrawny, cautiously inquisitive, red-haired little guy. He was more than cute.

And so Jinx rode home with us, in my lap, where he kept house for the next two and a half years.

I read about Jessica Simpson losing her precious Maltipoo, Daisy, to a coyote in LA last week. Right in front of her eyes. My heart instantly broke for her. I know how she feels. I know what it’s like. It will be a long, long time, if ever, before she will recover.

I don’t believe that the recovery is ever complete.

I lost my Jinky Bean to a pack of dogs that trespassed into my own front yard on September 20th, 2008. He was attacked, defending his own territory.

Probably defending me.

I ran out to save him. I thought I had.

We rushed him to Urgent Care on a Saturday night.

We lost him the following Sunday night.

I got to say goodbye to him. Tell him how much he means to me.

Tell him how my life will never be the same because he was in it. And it will never be the same because he isn’t. I got to sing him into his final slumber.

I miss him more than I thought I would after a year. I miss him like it was yesterday.

I cried myself to sleep for several months after he passed. I still do, though not as often.

I pray to the Lord that my Heaven will be complete with many of the furry friends I’ve lost along this life.

But, most of all, for Jinx.

I hope he’s waiting for me.